I'm so divided

So, I had an interview for a job for next year.

(Background: We decided I lived too far away from the district I worked in last year.  It was a killer drive and I always crumpled into a heap on the couch when I got home.  Was it the drive?  Was it pregnancy?  Who knows.  But I couldn't handle it very well.  Plus, I had to be out the door by 6:30 in the morning.

Now, if we add in time getting superbaby ready in the mornings, well, I'd have to wake up at 4:30...give or take half an hour. Not gonna happen.  Plus, the Russian decided that daycare was a no-go after hearing some horror stories.)

How can you send this cuteness to daycare and go to work?

But then I spied with my little eye a job posting for another part time position.  This one is in the district we live in.  Perfect!  The drawback?  It's still a 3 day a week position.  We were hoping for only 1 or 2 days.

Can't hurt to try, though, right?

I filled out the application and sent it on it's merry way.  A few weeks later, after I had decided they must not have been that interested, I received a surprise phone call requesting an interview in two days. Okay.

I never know how interviews go.  I prepared myself for the questions it seems like every district asks me, plus the typical "what's your biggest strength/weakness?" and the like.  Unfortunately for me, all the questions were situational or related to my knowledge of the field (i.e. blah blah blah, explain the criteria for qualification for grade students and how it differs for preschool). Not bad, but I didn't get to use some of the excellent answers I had come up with to the questions they did not ask.

Ah well.  I can be a stay at home mom.  It is the best for superbaby, isn't it?

Then I heard they were actually checking my references.  That's probably a good sign, but still not a guarantee of being offered the position.  I'm so split.

I don't want superbaby to go to daycare, even for a couple of days a week.

But I don't want to lose my certification and job experience.

You really think you can leave me?

Buuuut, maybe I could handle daycare for a day or two a week if the end is in sight, which it would be.  This position is a long term substitute covering maternity leave and ends in January.  Even better! I guess we decided we'll take it if offered.

But inside I still go NO! YES! NO! YES! NO! YES! Gaaaaah!